a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
more we know about the problem the more we know what to change.
We cannot be too general. We cannot just decide to change our
lives. We must break this down into manageable pieces. We must
change our values about love and how we think and behave. For
example, love is not worth dying for (value), we will survive
the end of a relationship (thinking), and we will not chase after
unavailable people (behavior). An inventory can include your history
of relationships but it should also focus on exactly what you
want to change about yourself, like low self-esteem and shame-based
thinking, feeling, and acting. Take a list of symptoms from any
good book about love addiction and write about the ones that apply
to you. Don't forget to list the things about yourself that you
want to keep and expand on. Inventories should include the good
and the bad. Discuss in your inventory the people you have hurt.
Later, in the eighth step, you will be creating a list of such
people. What drove you to hurt these people? What things are you
later going to ask God to remove? It is traditional to write out
your fourth step, but this is not mandatory. Some people do a
fourth and fifth step in therapy on a weekly basis. How
you do this step is unimportant. The only important thing is that
you do it.
back to step