a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make
amends to them all."
It is easy to see love addicts as victims because we get hurt
so much by our disease, but often our addiction takes over and
we put ourselves ahead of others. We might neglect our friends
and family. We may put a lover ahead of our children. Perhaps
under the stress of our addiction we lashed out or abused someone.
Maybe we stole money to take care of someone we were addicted
to. The degree to which we hurt others was explored in our fourth
step inventory. Now we must take that inventory and make a list
of the people we have harmed and become willing to make amends
to them. There will be people on this list who also hurt us, but
that is irrelevant. We must only be concerned about our own actions
and making amends for them. Many people get stuck on this step
because they are holding on to old resentments, but recovery demands
that we heal by reaching out to those we have hurt because of
our love addiction. Don't get ahead of yourself and worry about
step 9. Just make your list and ask God for the willingness to
continue cleaning house.
back to step