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Love Addicts Anonymous

Step 8

"Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."

It is easy to see love addicts as victims because we get hurt so much by our disease, but often our addiction takes over and we put ourselves ahead of others. We might neglect our friends and family. We may put a lover ahead of our children. Perhaps under the stress of our addiction we lashed out or abused someone. Maybe we stole money to take care of someone we were addicted to. The degree to which we hurt others was explored in our fourth step inventory. Now we must take that inventory and make a list of the people we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them. There will be people on this list who also hurt us, but that is irrelevant. We must only be concerned about our own actions and making amends for them. Many people get stuck on this step because they are holding on to old resentments, but recovery demands that we heal by reaching out to those we have hurt because of our love addiction. Don't get ahead of yourself and worry about step 9. Just make your list and ask God for the willingness to continue cleaning house.


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© Love Addicts Anonymous, 2004